Two Mistakes
by Mirai Shiranui
Summary: Zidane made two terrible mistakes when it came to Kuja and he paid for them dearly. Violence, suggested non-con, language.
1. The First Mistake

**Two Mistakes**

* * *

I don't know what to think really; despite how it seemed, everything happened so quickly. I'm willing to blame this all on Garnet…or Brahne, heck, I'll blame the guy down the street if I can think of a good enough reason. I would never blame him though – even though I knew he was evil. There was always a little voice in the back of my mind telling me to forgive him; to simply forget everything that had happened. It seemed so easy to do as well.

That damn tree – that's where everything changed. That's where he died. There had been a reason behind everything; reasons for all the things he did. Everyone else hated him, but I didn't, even if I should've. I certainly didn't want him to die.

He left me. I even thought to stay there but instead I escaped. I wish I hadn't. None of this would be happening now if I'd died in that tree. That's where I made my first mistake; I underestimated him. I'd probably done the same thing before but I never expected him to cheat death.

I left that place blissfully ignorant, beginning my journey 'home'. Every night I would go over exactly what happened and I would realize how much I actually missed him. I didn't think I would but for all concerned, he _was_ my brother. We were made by the same person – Garland was almost our father, right? As soon as I found out about us, I longed for the family relations we could share. Unfortunately, once he died, this made my feelings for Garnet more urgent.

It wasn't until I met up with Tantalus did I realize the problems with the Princess, or rather, the Queen. _That_ was the problem. Garnet was Queen of Alexandria. If I went back to her I knew what would happen. I'd marry her and become King. I'm not King material; I'm barely Hero material. It took a night out on the town to realize this. Blank decided we needed to celebrate my return and took us to our long-time favorite bar, which had been rebuilt in my absence. No sooner than I had a couple drinks and I was all ready after the pretty girl at the table near the window. I don't even remember her name – truth was that it didn't matter. It was all in the game. Blank and I had done the same thing so many times before – and if the night didn't work out for either of us I would always end up in his bed somehow. He used to joke about how submissive I could be sometimes.

I didn't love Garnet and I had no desire to become the Ruler of a Kingdom. Chasing her had just been part of the game I was used to playing. But being the Princess, she hadn't fallen so easily. That's what lured me, not the fact that she was pretty, or that she was a Princess. Thanks to Blank I realized that. I'm glad I did too; even now I wouldn't go back to Alexandria and Garnet.

I could've done something more substantial with my life, but instead I stayed with Tantalus. They were the only family I had ever known. We gave up all the other stuff and stuck to working as a Theatre Group. That's how he found me. My name was on posters everywhere – anyone could've found me if they tried hard enough. Tantalus became pretty popular and even I had my share at fame. It makes me wonder if anyone notices I'm missing.

I thought I was safe now that everything was over. Everyone was at peace; there was really no need to be cautious. I didn't even have my sword with me when he came; I was enjoying a drink after a performance. It took only a small spell to send me to sleep – being half intoxicated– and when he picked me up, no one questioned him. At least that's what he told me.

That's how I got here; his home, wherever it is. He won't let me outside and I can't get much bearing from looking out the window, since it faces the ocean. The room I'm stuck in is large; much larger than anything I'm used to. Fancy enough for a Princess as well. The bed is large, with richly coloured sheets and big pillows, there's a fireplace in the wall, and a table setting for two towards the door. I don't know what's outside this room because I've never been out of it. I've tried to escape before, but it didn't work. The window, though always open, is barred with some sort of spell and the only way to get through those thick doors is with him.

I always sit on the window sill, getting as close to the edge as I can before the magic forces me back. Here – if I forget everything else around me – It almost feels like I'm free. It's usually about this time that I'm _graced_ with his presence. I don't know why it's always this time – mid-afternoon when the sun shines right into my window.

Just as the sun slips through my window, casting a stream of light over the room, the doors swing open. I always try not to notice him until he forces me to. I can't rebel much but there is no way I will do his bidding freely. I can hear the sound of his footsteps and the swish of his clothes as he strolled over. If he notices my behaviour, he obviously doesn't care; it probably amuses him.

He stops next to me, swishing long silver strands over his shoulder. I still pretend not to notice, though I'm aware of everything he does; every little move he makes. I know he's watching me – a new hobby he seems to have taken up. I'm content to let it stay like that – if he's in here I'd prefer it if he wasn't touching me. I know he will though, in his own time. He always does, no matter how much I protest.

"My dear Zidane. How are you today? I see you finished all your lunch – are you now convinced that I will not poison you?"

I simply stare ahead out the window, my tail twitching with obvious agitation. Damn the expressive appendage!

He simply muttered a laugh, leaning closer to my ear. I can feel his hot breath on my cheek and the fur on my tail ruffled. I hate being near him. If he'd keep his distance I might have a conversation with him, but he never does.

"I would never poison you," he whispers into my ear, "You're much too important to me."

I would be flattered if it wasn't so sick. I don't know what the sudden fascination with me is, but it's all he thinks about. I can never think of him as my brother now – the thought makes me ill. What he's done to me…

He enjoys it, too – he loves the way it makes me feel. His twisted smile haunts me when I finally manage sleep, and the pain he inflicts is always there. I have so many scars now – many more than I had even when battling. How long have I been here? Not long surely…at least it doesn't seem like a long time. A week?

Giving a start as his hand rests on my shoulder, I curse under my breath. With an amused laugh he pulled the leather tie from my hair, letting it all fall forward. It falls in my face, but I can manage to keep most of it from my eyes, up until he pulls that cord anyhow.

His fingers wind into my hair and I close my eyes against the feeling that would be pleasant if induced by anyone else.

"You have such beautiful hair, especially in this light. If I had known back then that you would grow up as this, then I would've thought twice about getting rid of you. I'm so very glad I have you now though – We can catch up on missed time together."

I caught one of his hands in my own, so quick that for once he didn't have time to pull away. I squeezed harder than necessary, hoping to at least cause him to panic. I don't even know if he feels it, for he certainly gives no reaction. In fact, within moments when he's had enough of the 'game', he simply pulls his hand from my grip. I sigh with my small defeat, letting my head fall forward to stare towards the water below my window, my hair slumping across my shoulders as the shorter parts dangled against my face.

"Now, now, you know there's no point. I'm still stronger than you – even now. Give up." Again he leaned closer to me. "And become mine freely."

I resisted the urge to throw myself at him in attack – I know it will never work. I all ready tried and both times I was beaten so badly I woke up in bandages. I don't even remember those fights. One minute I was attacking him and the next I was waking up in the bed. It scared me a little to think how powerful he was – no wonder he didn't die.

I still barely believe his story, even though I know no other way he could've lived and escaped. He says he had to go into…I don't know what he called it; I don't know much about magic. But he needed time to regenerate, so he spent three months doing just that. He didn't tell me how he escaped but I can tell that he is weaker than he should be. He'd still stronger than me though, which is the most annoying part of all. Even when he's injured, I have no chance of escaping by myself; when he's completely healed I may never get out. I don't even think anyone's coming to rescue me and if they do, they may never find me.

I steadied my breath, keeping my voice even as I spoke, "I will never be yours freely, Kuja."

He shakes his head, silver locks of hair swinging back and forth lazily, before he sat next to me.

"I brought you a present. Some day you'll accept it," he said and placed a silver loop in front of me. It was thick metal with a catch at the back and a hinge at the front. It was pretty unremarkable but I knew if I touched it something bad would happen. I shifted back a little, coming into contact with the wall behind me.

"It's a choker. You should wear it. Everyone will know who you belong to that way and I can let you leave this room."

I glared at him and nudged the choker to the floor with my boot. It made a loud '_clunk_' as it landed, rolling a few steps before toppling over.

"Never," I snapped, folding my arms and staring out the window again. It seemed childish but I wasn't going to play into his little games. I knew that if he would let me out of this room, that thing had to have some sort of spell on it; something to keep me from escaping.

His fingers trailed across my cheek before settling in my hair again, he turned my head with his other hand, leaning forward till our noses almost touched.

"You'll wear it someday," he said and before I could protest his lips were against mine. Whatever spell he cast on me came into effect again, making sure I didn't struggle. It wasn't the spell or the kiss that had me so mad though, it was the way my own heart fluttered in response, and the way my throat went completely dry, and how my mind fogged over – all of which had nothing to do with Kuja's spell.

As he reached for my shirt, I knew where this was going. It was always the same now, and under his spell I couldn't think of retaliation. It was no better than rape, because I sure didn't consent to it.

He muttered something into my ear as he pushed my shirt from my shoulders; I don't know what it was. It didn't matter – the words were meaningless. My whole body gave way and I slumped against him and that's when he simply gathered me into his arms and carried me to the bed; just as he had done three times before.

I thought that he enjoyed hurting me but sometimes the look on his face told another story. I didn't know what to believe – it was easy to condemn him for all this.


	2. The Second Mistake

"You can't hold me here forever," I said, though I sat with Kuja's arms around me. I hated it more than anything but I could no longer struggle. I had so many wounds from trying to force him away from me; ones that he purposely let heal by themselves to remind me of my failures.

He ran his hands through my hair, not listening to a single word I said, and hummed a song I had either forgotten or didn't know. I hated how he did this – how he seemed to be normal. He loved playing these twisted little games and unfortunately, sometimes I fell for them. My mind would wander and I'd let my guard down; thoughts would flood my mind about so many things. How Kuja wasn't really evil, and that I could help him.

Another of his games was the silver choker – a collar – that sat on the dresser. That thing mocked me from its wooden podium, begging me to pick it up just so I could go outside. How long had it been? Too long now; at least a month. No one had come so far and I didn't think they would. If they were looking for me, they probably couldn't find a lead and would never find me, let alone rescue me. I longed to leave this damn room, even just for a moment. The furthest I got was the bathroom, which technically was just the same room with a door. It didn't lead anywhere and I never went past those large wooden doors at the entrance.

So that I would slowly go mad, I was granted no form of entertainment. All I could do was stare out that window, and when I felt particularly agitated, I would jump around on the furniture. The only break to my day was Kuja's visits, and I preferred it when he didn't. I don't know what he did for the rest of the time but I knew it wasn't something good. Over the month, he'd brought me more things; mostly new furniture and trinkets to set around the room. I wasn't interesting in those at all. But sometimes he would bring me things he'd found – feathers, shells, or interesting stones – and that's what threw me. He seemed so excited about them and seemed like he genuinely wanted to make me happy by giving them to me. I always ignored him but there was now a growing pile of things on the table by the window.

Every day I thought about the collar. I'd expected to wake up many a time to find that thing around my neck, but it always stayed on that dresser, glinting in the sunlight. Kuja didn't really need to let me out of this room, since he had what he wanted. He'd taken to sleeping in the same room as me now, but he was always gone before breakfast. I'd tried to wake up before him, or fall asleep after him, but it was impossible. Whatever spell he cast on me, had me sleep exactly when he wanted, along with letting him do whatever he wanted to me.

The only reason for leaving this room was my own. However, for me to put on the damn collar would mean he won – that I'd submitted. It would mean that I was his property. I couldn't allow that, even if it meant that I died in this room.

I knew someone would rescue me though. They had to. Surely they hadn't just forgotten about me – not everyone. Tantalus would wonder where I was, especially after so long. Blank would wonder…wouldn't he?

It had been such a long time. I hadn't expected to be here more than a couple weeks, but the weeks were dragging into months. I kept reassuring myself that there was a reason for their delayed rescue – that they couldn't find out where Kuja was keeping me or there were complications in travel, anything to convince me that they were actually coming and they hadn't just deserted me. They wouldn't do that – not after everything we'd been through together.

"Why are you doing this to me?" I asked. I don't think I really expect a sane answer, but I had to ask. Maybe he would surprise me.

Kuja leant forward, his own thick locks of silver hair mixing with the ordinary brown of my own. I could feel him smiling – if that was possible. He pressed his lips to the skin above my collar before speaking the words I never wanted to hear from him.

"Because I love you."

I later scrubbed my body until it was red. Blood swirled down the drain from the wounds he'd inflicted on me. The soap stung but it made me feel clean again. It wasn't what he'd done to me – I'd grown accustomed to that – but it was the words. They circled in my head and just thinking about it made me want to heave. I slumped against the tiled wall, the scrubbing brush slipping from my hands and clattering on the floor. I barely had enough energy to stand. He hadn't stayed with me; he'd gathered his clothes and pulled them on before leaving me on the stained sheets, barely able to move. I don't know how long it took me to get to the bathroom. I switched off the water and sunk to the floor. My head was swimming and not just because of the pain.

Kuja was slowly becoming more affectionate – amongst inflicting pain. It was as if he couldn't decide what to do with me. Some of his kisses though, they were intimate, and perhaps even loving. It was far between but sometimes I felt his insecurities; it was as if he had no idea what he was doing. It felt like we were both silly teenagers again. I liked that part.

I dragged myself from the shower, droplets of blood spilling onto the clean tile floor. Using the basin as leverage, I staggered to my feet. Among the things scattered across the counter surface was a razor. I know there's no point in cutting myself with it. He can heal any sort of damage I may do to myself, and even if I did manage to kill myself he would bring me back with one of those spells of his. Slitting ones wrists isn't exactly dying of 'natural causes'.

A lock of fawn coloured hair flopped against my face, still wet from my shower. I went to push the offending piece back into place but stopped – my fingers clutching the strands tightly.

Kuja was always commenting on my hair, if not playing with it.

I picked up the razor, holding it level with the piece of hair. I like my hair as it is, but this is something I can still do; something I still have control of. I dragged the razor across the lock of hair, letting the light strands fall into the basin. I smile at my small accomplishment and set about cutting the rest of my shoulder length hair.

Kuja was notably angry and I felt so proud. It was such a small victory, but it was all I had. My hair was short – just reaching my ears – and jagged. I'd cut it with no thought of style at all, since I'd wanted it to look terrible. I laughed and threw the bundle of hair at him, all neatly tied together with the leather cord. It fell short and landed at his feet.

"This time I got you a present." I smirked, my tail flicking by my legs. He closed the gap between us quickly and I had no time to escape. He caught me in his arms and grinned. I didn't understand it at all. He was supposed to be angry!

"How adorable," he commented. "I knew you had a strong will. It's when you defy me that you're _so_ attractive."

I was left gaping. It hadn't gone at all like planned. Sure, Kuja didn't like my hair short, but he loved the way I resisted him. Did they weigh even? Hardly. I struggled from his hold and slid back over to the window to stare out into the freedom I may never have again.

And when he left me I threw the collar across the room angrily. It bounced off the wall – leaving a dent where it hit – and rolled back to where I stood. I growled angrily and kicked it towards the door. I hated that thing and I wasn't even wearing it. The idea alone taunted me. Kuja always asked about it and no matter how many times I tried to get rid of it – placing it on the dinner tray in hope it would be taken too, or hiding it with the laundry – it always ended up back on the dresser, glinting at me like a silver demon. I dropped to my knees, my fringe falling into my eyes but no further than that. Pounding the floor with my fist I yelled obscenities at the locked doors. No one would hear but yelling aired my frustration.

I fell backwards, lying in the middle of the room and staring at the ceiling. It felt so foolish to be in this room doing absolutely nothing. I found myself waiting for Kuja's visits just so that he would entertain me. I know that's what he wanted too, so I never told him. In fact I made everything as difficult as physically possible. I paid little attention to him and I made sure I looked bored – I knew that annoyed him. I smiled to myself – it wasn't much, but anything to prove I was still my own person.

That was the only thing keeping me going – that and the knowledge that I would be rescued soon. They surely wouldn't just leave me. So I knew they were coming to get me…it was just taking a while. Kuja laughed every time I affirmed the fact. I still have no idea where we are, but wherever this place is it must be somewhere really hard to find and/or get to. Kuja seems to think I'll never be rescued but I know better.

Staring at the ceiling I listened to the outside noises. Generally there was the sound of birds and water, occasionally even people though not many of them. Today though, there were no such noises. There had been birds that morning, hadn't there?

I listened closer and picked up the whooshing of the sea; but nothing else. It was eerily quiet.

Jumping to my feet I hurried to the window, leaning out as far as I could before the barrier stopped me. There was another noise in the distance; it almost sounded like a propeller. My eyes lit up – an airship! The tiny speck moved towards me and the hum of propeller's grew louder. I crossed my fingers, hoping with everything I had that this was my rescue; hoping that I would finally get out of here and away from Kuja.

The sound of cannon fire broke into the air and I jumped in fright. It had come from here! I couldn't see any cannon but who knew how big this place was outside of this room? The shot was answered by one from the airship, then two more to follow. I stepped back from the window cautiously – not much of a rescue if they managed to get me killed!

The airship was clearly visible now – but it wasn't one I recognized. It had to be new, since there was no mist to run the old ones. From the mast flew a flag bearing Alexandrian colours. I gave a whoop of joy – even if it was Garnet who was rescuing me, anything was better than this. At least I could tell Garnet I wasn't interested; sure, she wouldn't be happy, but she would back off.

Another round of cannons fired into the air causing the building to shake on impact. Those ones were close to this room.

The doors swung open with force, clattering against the walls on either side. Kuja stood at the entrance, smirking at me.

"You were right, love. They are trying to rescue you. I never thought they would find you."

"Well, you were wrong! They're going to rescue me and I'll never have to see you again!" I yelled at him, clapping my hands together in delight. Kuja still smirked at me, his silvery tail swishing idly from side to side. I chose to ignore him and stared out the window, waving wildly as the airship turned. I don't think anyone saw me but I was far too happy.

Kuja wandered over, placing his hand on my shoulder and turned me to face him. I was forced into a kiss before he pulled away and headed for the door again. I glared angrily at him – he didn't even seem to care that my friends were here.

He stopped at the door and glanced over his shoulder, flicking hair from his face. "Oh yes," he began, "You might want to say good bye to your friends. Not that you'll see them, but…well you'll see."

I didn't know what he was talking about, but anger welled inside me. I ran at him only to come into contact with closed doors. I staggered backwards before pounding on the heavy wood, yelling that he had better come back or else. I didn't exactly have an end to that threat but something was up and if it jeopardized my chances of being rescued then I was going to do everything I could to stop it.

I stopped my rage, panting with effort. I couldn't do anything from this damn room. I licked my dry lips and tasted something strange; it had a metallic taste almost and it tasted bad! I made a face as my head swam; splotches of colour swimming in the places where objects had been. Staggering backwards I fell against the bed, slipping to the floor slowly. My last conscious thoughts were of the cruel luck I had – Kuja had drugged me with a sleeping potion.


	3. The Consequences

"So…he wakes."

I blinked at the harsh light filtering into my eyes. I could barely see anything; a shape sat in front of me. My head still swam and I had the unpleasant urge to hurl. Sleeping potions were much worse than spells; they seemed to give off a very nasty hung-over effect.

"Where…hnn…bright…" I muttered, moving my arm over my eyes.

The shape moved and a moment later the harsh light was gone. I shifted my arm again, trying to adjust to the fact I could see. The room I woke in was not the one I had grown accustomed to; it was small and had very few furnishings and the walls and floors were wooden. Humming filled my ears – the sounds of propellers – and I sat bolt upright. Airships made that noise, and airship cabins looked like this.

"Blank?" I questioned. Had the rescue really worked?

"Oh, I'm afraid not. I do remember him though…I enjoyed killing him."

My breath caught in my throat and I threw myself from the bed. I wobbled on my feet as I turned to face Kuja, his silver hair glittering in the light that still fell through the window. I threw myself at him but was tossed aside. Skidding across the floor I scrambled for my balance, jumping to my feet again.

"Tell me you didn't!" I cried, clenching my fists by my side.

Kuja shrugged and leant on the window sill. "You have to understand why I did. They were trying to take you from me."

"Of course they were!" I yelled, "You're a monster! They were rescuing me."

Kuja strolled over, stopping a couple paces away from me. He smiled warmly, as if he was simply sharing a conversation.

"You don't understand. They're not like us. You and I were meant to be together because we are the same. You were made for me."

I shook my head angrily, stepping backwards until I came into contact with the wall. He was crazy, and I was trapped in his psychotic little game.

"Zidane, don't be mad at me. It's for your own good. I'm much better for you. That…person…he said he loved you and wanted you back. He was going to take you from me! I couldn't let him do that – I had to kill him! The others too; the Princess, the Dragons…they all wanted you."

I slid down the wall as my heart convulsed in my chest. Were they really all dead? Blank…he loved me? I shook my head against, placing my hands over my ears to shut out the painful words. I could barely breathe; not only did the rescue mission fail but they had all died with the attempt.

"How could you?" I screamed at him, pounding the floor with my fists.

"Don't yell, my love. You're mine now – you were always mine. I stopped them from taking you away. No one will replace me, understand? That…boy…he didn't understand. I had to kill him. I'll look after you from now on."

Kuja sat on the floor in front of me, leaning as close as he dared. Was he really that crazy? Obviously yes. I hadn't thought he was that bad – he was never this bad. It was like something snapped when my rescuers came.

"You don't need anyone else now – you have me. We won't be alone now. I was always alone but now I have you back! I'll look after you well. I've been doing a good job!"

I raised my head and glared at him. I wanted to wrap my hands around his neck and choke the last breath out of him. He'd killed all my friends, the only family I knew, and the person who had loved me. He thought that he'd been doing a good job 'looking after me'. Something was wrong with him, I knew it. He'd always been delusional – and now I knew it wasn't just because of the evil forces that had claimed him previously. There was something wrong with _him._

"My sweet brother, you don't have to worry now. I'll never leave you again; I promise I'll take good care of you."

He leant forward further, stroking my hair. I didn't have the effort to resist; the last strands of hope I had were all gone. There would be no more rescue missions, since anyone who cared about me was dead. Blank…Tantalus…even Garnet!

Tears slid down my cheeks slowly – I was going to spend the rest of my miserable life with a crazy bastard. There was no hope of ever escaping; alone there was no way I could beat Kuja. I felt like I'd been snapped in two as every last inch of my being ached in pain. I had no will to defy him any longer – the hope that had fuelled my resistance was gone.

"Don't cry, love. There's no need to cry. I won't leave you – ever. Please don't cry…"

I heard a '_thunk_' as something was placed in front of me. My vision blurred with tears though I dared not look.

"I brought you a present."

I looked down after a moment and saw the familiar loop of silver lying in front of me. Its clean surface shone at me. I snapped my hand out and picked it up, bringing it level with my eyes. At least with this I could go outside – I would be allowed to walk out of my room. I snapped the clasp open and bent the two halves wide enough at the hinge to slip it around my neck. As soon as the clasp was locked in place, the collar glowed. I couldn't see then, but later I discovered that the joins and the clasp were gone, and on the front was Kuja's name to remind me and everyone else that I now belonged to him.

I lowered my head obediently and Kuja pulled me into his arms. "That's much better. Now everyone knows. No one will come near you again."

More silent tears spilled down my cheeks – I was a fool to think I would be rescued. Kuja would never let me go.

My first mistake was to underestimate him. My second was to believe I could escape him. Those were the two biggest mistakes I made in my entire life and I paid for them with my freedom.

**The End**


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